Special high intensity training

To: All Super Moderators and Administrators
From: Roban
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
the staff, it will be our policy to keep all Super Moderators well trained through
our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( S.H.I.T. ). We are
trying to give our Moderators more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your Administrator. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our administrators are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Moderators who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our Administrators took S.H.I.T. before they
were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, they are full of
S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in other job training.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
( B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. ). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the
S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY
PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

Thank you,

Roban
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

I have not taken the SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). I do have a certificate in DESIGN EFFECTIVE EVERYDAY PROPAGANDA DIRECTED OVER OPPOSITION(D.E.E.P.D.O.O.D.O.O.) (I HAD TO TAKE IT TWICE :D) ?

I completed my SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.) last year. Now my boss is telling me this:

"Since you ran through S.H.I.T. last year and came out smelling like a rose, we are now going to have you mentor those who did not handle S.H.I.T. as well. You will join me as part of the Yearly Overacheiving Minds Acting as Mentors Association (Y.O.M.A.M.A.).

Y.O.M.A.M.A. will be passed along for group events with each division. When needed, special one-on-one interaction will be taken. I usually drive these one-on-one sessions with Y.O.M.A.M.A. becuase I have been with Y.O.M.A.M.A. for so many years.

On occasion, Y.O.M.A.M.A. will make guest appearances outside of work for team building group events outside of the office. Many times, Y.O.M.A.M.A. will be the host of a private party and be featured at the head table for easy accessibility. Individuals can approach the table in which they will receive close interaction with Y.O.M.A.M.A. (usually a small donation of $1 is required when approaching Y.O.M.A.M.A. at the featured table).

You have received a great honor by being accepted into Y.O.M.A.M.A.. Y.O.M.A.M.A. has high standards and will only accept those who excel at S.H.I.T."