Official Joke thread

[JPnyc]

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000.00 or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land for $150.00."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5000.00 to ship your wife home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only spend $150.00?"

The man replied... "A long time ago, a man died here, was buried here and three days later, he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

[josaphlewis]

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

[nickelodon007]

Roses only last like a couple weeks and that's if you leave them in water. They really only exist to be pretty. So that's like saying, "My love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance."

But a potato! Potatos last forever! In fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow stuff even if you just leave them in the sack. That part alone makes it a good symbol. But there's more! There are so many ways to enjoy a potato! You can even make a battery with it! That's like saying, "I have many ways in which I show my love for you."

And potatos may be ugly, but they're still awesome. So that's like saying, "It doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you."

[roban]

At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

[seouk1]

hahaha, very funny, he is right no one can take chance

[eoinbronks]

The boss came early in the morning one day and found an employee kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The employee replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

[bar64bar]

funny!

it is always a choice of health or money in this world!

[Alfred23]

Haha same here, very funny!

I can't think a new joke.. Maybe I will post next time.